Hugs

Over the past few weeks a bunch of friends and family have been saying it’s been far too long since they had a “Brinna hug”. Apparently I give good hugs, who knew.

 

But this got me thinking when a good friend told me the same thing this morning via skype…

 

It’s been a long time since I’ve been hugged period.  I got really upset by this. I always knew that I loved giving and receiving hugs, but didn’t know that I was not getting any and that I missed them.

Not sayin’ I need a cuddle buddy or anything, just a hug.

 

Peace,

Brinna Kolitz

 

Advance (“project”) Number 3021354 .  http://www.advancinghope.org “give now”

Inspired

Over the past few days I have felt very, very inspired. Inspired to do several different things. Most of which I can tell you about. One of them, I’m not quite allowed to disclose…but in due time I will be! Unfortunately the one that I cannot tell you about, is the one that I’m most excited about! Like they say, patience is a virtue!

 

One of the other things that I have been inspired to do, is to start my US-2 experience scrapbook!  I’m newly into papercrafting, mostly making cards and little crafty things, but had a strong urge to creatively document my US-2 experience.  I was so excited about this, I actually got caught up to date with everything from hearing about the program to being accepted to notes and cards that I have received so far from family and friends, even a fiancee (who I have never met) of a friend.  It looks great, in my opinion, and was/is so much fun to make! I cannot wait to add more to it.

 

Next, I have felt called to get involved with one of the local universities here in Billings.  In the coming days I will be contacting the Campus Ministries at Montana State University- Billings, and hopefully connecting with them and becoming involved.

 

Lastly, a few days ago I decided to weigh myself after not doing so since I came to Montana. Last time I did was right before leaving Connecticut.  To my excitement, in the between weigh-ins, I had lost 10 pounds! Which is not a lot, but it is a start, especially because I hadn’t really been trying. I now feel inspired to take these 2 years to not only grow in my faith journey, but commit to adopting a healthier lifestyle. For the past 2 weeks, everyday after work I have gone on a 30-45 minute walk (depending on how cold it is), and have slowly added some time doing my workout DVD’s. And have eliminated my habit of having dinner at 8 or 9 o’clock at night.

 

I look forward to updating you on these 3 exciting new things in my life in the next several months, and also unveiling the ‘wait-to-diclose’ inspiration soon!!!

 

Hope all is well!

 

Peace,

Brinna Kolitz

 

Advance (“project”) Number 3021354 .  http://www.advancinghope.org “give now”

 

SWEET!!

Today was another bittersweet day.

 

BUT……. the ‘sweet’ was just so awesome, that I haven’t forgotten about the ‘bitter’ but I just want to celebrate the ‘sweet’!!!

 

I went to a Family Group Decision Meeting this afternoon (a meeting where everyone involved in a case gets together and discuss the case and access and make decisions).  I was expecting this to be a very easy meeting, an in-out ‘just continue what we’re doing and we’ll re-convene a few months from now and see how things are going on then’ type of thing.  I wasn’t totally wrong. It was an in-out ‘continue what we’re doing and we’ll re-convene a few months from now and see how things are going on then’ but in between continue what we’re doing and the re-convening business there was a sentence that made the entire room tear up, and some in the room break down in sobs. Want to know what that sentence was?

 

“Based on how well Parents are doing, if all goes well this weekend (an un-supervised weekend visit) on _/_/11 (there’s a date, but I can’t tell you that)….WAIT FOR IT….

 

 

CHILD WILL BE RETURNED TO PARENTS PERMANENTLY”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Amazing!!  This was the first time that something felt like it was going absolutely right at work!!

After the meeting was over, both parents came up to me, their social worker, and the supervisor and gave us a huge hug, and couldn’t thank us enough for our support during this rough time for them.

 

I will still be doing supervised visits for this family, and when the child is back home, I will also transition with them into home visits to have some sense of continuity so that they still have a support system.  I am so excited about this, these parents know that they screwed up, and took responsibility for it, and went ABOVE AND BEYOND what they were asked to do in order to get their child back! There was so much love and support circulating in that room  today, I just pray that they remember that when times get rough!

Bittersweet

As the title of this post suggests, today was a very bittersweet day. It was a day that ended with a phone call to my parents that consisted of some tears (surprise, I know).

 

I’m a “good-news-first” kind of girl, so here is the sweet!  This afternoon I had my quarterly Skype meeting with all 8 of the current US-2’s and the Executive Director of the Young Adult Missionaries.  It was a 2.5 hour conversation, and it was AWESOME. I’ve been able to stay in contact with most of them over the past month and a half fairly consistently.  But today was the first time that we’ve all been able to see and talk to each other, together.  It was so refreshing to see them all and be able to share “face-to-face” how our time serving has been.  I missed/miss them so very much. We are really an amazing group of young adults!

Another sweet was that a Missions Coordinator from one of the local United Methodist Churches came to Family Support Network (my work) to meet with me and my supervisor, (a former US-2).  She was very interested in having my supervisor and myself come speak at her chuch. And she just wanted to get to know me, and what we do at Family Support Network. It was great!

 

Now….on to the bitter…..

 

A few weeks ago, one of my ‘parents’ was told that their parental rights were being terminated. Usually this means that court proceedings will begin with the main topic being whether their rights will be terminated or not.

Visitations usually continue during this process, because the parents still have their rights.  But in this case, after the parent was notified that the process was beginning, they stopped coming to the visits, the past 2 weeks they just didn’t show up. And every phone number that I tried to call…disconnected.

Today I called the parent’s Social Worker, and explained the whole situation. He explained that he was having the same problems.

I decided to call the numbers (4) that I had for this parent 1 more time, just in case. The last one, expecting the worse, after a few rings someone answered!  When we asked if there was an address (we were trying to send a letter to this parent) or a phone number where we could reach this parent.    Thinking that we were on the right track I was hopeful….   I thought wrong.

The person on the other line then said something that I didn’t really want to hear.  The person said that the person I was trying to get a hold of moved…to a different state without telling anyone that should know regarding their case.

Now I don’t know the circumstances that led this parent to flee to a state that his child is not in, but I can’t help to think that this was just an easy way out.  I am so, so, SO thankful that me and my family were never in a position where this could happen. But I hope and pray that if I am ever in the situation that my parental rights are being terminated that I would want to spend as much time as possible with my child until a judge told me that it was no longer allowed.

During my phone call with my parents, both gave another way to think about it. Maybe this parent thinks that they are making it easier on their child, they are moving on so that their child can move on.   It’s been a rough evening trying to wrap my head around this. I want to see the best in this situation, but can’t seem to shake the thought that this parent just ran away, and left their young child thousands of miles away.

 

 

bittersweet

 

Peace,

Brinna Kolitz

The following lines were written by my dear friend Joy. Joy is a current Mission Intern serving currently in Hong Kong. Joy was commissioned with me this past August.  The lines represent themes and ideas taken from all of the blogs written by The Class of 2011 Young Adult Missionaries (Y.A.M.S). The thoughts are all seperate but come together to form 1 thought and theme that all 26 of us are going through, yet most of us are in totally different places and in different circumstances, we are still totally connected. And Joy definitely showcases that here.

 

Enjoy!

 

“It’s about relationships; it’s about trusting, going, and growing

It’s about dealing with new weather climates, new communities, and new jobs

It’s about learning to deal with sickness, figuring out how to make friends, and what church to attend

It’s about cultural shock, language barriers, and figuring out time zones

It’s about English Clubs, health care, and the moments of role reversal

It’s about opening your eyes to what’s going on around you & back at home

It’s about figuring out how to create change in their home countries

It’s about learning from people internationally & what they experience before returning to their home countries to create change

It’s about looking into the eyes of a child who has never known peace and seeing courage

It’s about looking at the women whose been beaten and abused and learning true strength

It’s about communicating with the shopkeeper, the meat lady, and the farmer

It’s about being real and showing you aren’t the typical tourist

It’s about appreciating what you’ve grown up with and learning to live without it

It’s about celebrating the little successes of those you know and meet along the way, of first sentences in a new language, of citizenship, of surviving to see another year

It’s about language classes, learning new languages and figuring out how to communicate in the process

It’s about the feeling you get when you can have a conversation in the new language

It’s about knowing what you believe in and being open to others thoughts and opinions

It’s about inter-faith, ecumenical relationships, and speaking up for things that aren’t right

It’s about learning the laws, names of forms, and who to contact to help other navigate the process

It’s about not letting your fears control you and saying yes even when reality says no

It’s about sharing 5 minutes with someone you’ll probably never see again in a coffee shop

It’s about the feeling of meeting someone from close to home even when you’re far away

It’s about the Skype conversation where you can be totally vulnerable with others who understand

It’s about meetings, conferences, delegations, iterations, and articles

It’s about figuring out where you fit into the bigger picture

It’s about leaving yourself behind and stepping out into the unknown

It’s about picnics, library cards, taking action, and meeting others

It’s about the shared stories over pizza, the teacher who calls you a hero, and the laughter of a child

It’s about seasons, weather, and whether or not it’s snowing in October

It’s about new faces and the feeling of finally remembering their name

It’s about e-mails, offices, governments, and the urge to do more

It’s about those times you find your strength from others and homesickness kicks in

It’s about the moment you call your new community home

It’s about the official placements and the unofficial ones you discover

It’s about the feeling of just wanting to scream and run and hide

It’s about the “alphabet soup” you must figure out and the one you came from

It’s about geography, history, politics, and all those other classes from school

It’s about the fact that people might not ever totally understand why

It’s about figuring out where the gates are and if you’re going to step outside of it

It’s about pictures, memories, and those you left behind as well as what’s to come

It’s about the next two or three years and not worrying about what lies ahead

It’s about meeting those who live just in and out of the gates and what you can learn from them

It’s about the picture you have that speaks so much more than you ever could

Above all it’s about being open, trusting in the unknown, and knowing God’s with you all the way”

 

Joys blog can be found here: http://joyprim.wordpress.com/. And on the right hand side of MY blog site, you will see a list of links to all of the blogs that are being written so far by The Class of 2011 Y.A.M.S that these lines were conceived by. Please take the time to also read them. They are really worth your while.

 

Peace,

Brinna Kolitz

Advance (“project”) Number 3021354 .  http://www.advancinghope.org “give now”

What’s in a name?

Over the past few weeks, people have been asking me where the name for this blog, Wide Open Spaces, came from.

As most of you may know, Montana (MT) is known as “Big Sky Country”, and it TOTALLY lives up to its name. For those of you who have been to MT, you know what I am talking about. For those of you who have not been to Montana, pictures do NOT do it justice. The sky is HUGE here.  Along with the big sky, the majority of MT is covered in vast areas of basically nothing. So these long stretches of flat land and the big sky is what led to the name of this blog, it really is a wide open space.  It is an amazing view driving away from Billings city limits, definately something that everyone should see, say maybe before July 2013!?!?

 

Another, more subtle reason for the title are the feelings that I have been experiencing over the past month or so.  There are a lot of differences between where I call home, New Milford, CT, and Billings, MT (maybe a post for another day).  There have been a few times that it has been just me and my thoughts while i’ve sat up on “the rims” and just looked out over the city of Billings, looking out at and thinking about the multifaceted  ‘wide open spaces’.

 

I hope that this makes sense to you all. It does to me, but I never know if my thoughts make sense to others….hopefully.

 

Peace,

Brinna Kolitz

Advance (“project”) Number 3021354 .  http://www.advancinghope.org “give now”

Public Speaking

For those of you who know me, you already know that I hate public speaking.

And for those of you who do not know me personally, now you know, I HATE PUBLIC SPEAKING, with a passion.

Last week, I was asked to speak at one of the United Methodist Churches in Billings (Grace UMC).  Pastor Susan asked me to share my story and do my itineration thing.  Of course I said, of course, I’d LOVE to.   But inside I was screaming, “NOOOO”.

Friday evening, after an afternoon of self-care, I started to prepare for Sunday morning. As I’m writing out my speech the usual nerves arise.  I do countless run-throughs in front of my mirror, skype with a friend for a critique.

Sunday morning came, and with one last run-through, I headed off to church.  It came my time in the service, got up to the pulpit, looked out into the congregation, and alas, the same old nerves are present. I got through my speech at a typical mile a minute.

After the service almost everyone from the congregation came up to me and thanked me for speaking, and asked me for more details, and offered well wishes.

I realized, like I realize each time I do this, there’s no reason for the nerves…..but they’re always there.

Overall, itineration take 3, went well.

 

Peace,

Brinna Kolitz

Advance (“project”) Number 3021354 .  http://www.advancinghope.org “give now”

More Changes

As a part of my procrastination today, I have decided to tinker with my blog site.  I thought that the previous set up was just kind of “blah”. The new look pops!

 

I added some new tabs in the upper right hand corner of your screen.

• An updated “About Me” page
• A list of the US-2’s and Mission Interns commissioned with me.
• A page on how to support my ministry
• My mailing address
• A page dedicated to explaining what the US-2 program and Mission Intern programs are.

As always, I hope you enjoy sharing in my journey!

 

Peace,

Brinna Kolitz

Advance (“project”) Number 3021354 .  http://www.advancinghope.org “give now”